The Geographical Cure
There are many times in life that we think…
- if I just leave…
- if I just take a new job…
- if I get out of this relationship…
- if I start this business over from scratch…
- if I move out of this city…then I’ll have a chance.
Then everything will be better.
Sometimes it is true that we need to leave.
Sometimes we’ve stayed in one place too long; one job too long; and one relationship past its point of our well-being.
This idea that we need to leave to make things better is what I call the “geographical cure.” I think it is something that a friend of mine in college coined or heard somewhere. We used it to describe that sense that “all will be better when I’m no longer in this place.”
“Wherever You Go, There You Are”
We didn’t hate college. We went to a large university in a small college town. At times if felt like the walls were closing in. We believed that if we could just get off of campus for a while “all would be well.”
Getting off campus helped. But we always had to return home to our dorms.
The saying is “wherever you go there you are” for a reason. You always have to return to yourself. Of course there was a time to leave campus for good (graduation). And so it is in life. There is a time to stay and learn the lessons and a time to leave; at time to apply the lesson and a time to leave or move forward. The flow of life will take us to our next destination.
So often it is difficult to know if our desire to leave a place, person or thing is justified. We may experience a lot of uncertainty. We may be “clear” one minute and then “unclear” the next. We will seek counsel from those who know us best and from those who we hope have wisdom and objectivity.
The truth is sometimes we have blind spots. Sometimes we want to run; we want to leave…when we would best be served by staying. So how can we know when it is “us” and not the place, thing or other person?
How do we know when we are more directly responsible for our experience?
How can we know when it is “us” and not “them?”
I think having accountability support is wise and necessary. Yes…being your own counsel is important. We have to learn to trust our intuition and our inner wisdom.
However, we also have blind spots and that is where the support and accountability that occurs in a committed personal and/or professional development relationships is not only necessary but essential for our continued growth.
Right now I have a new accountability partner. A friend on Facebook who gets up every morning and walks at 6:30 am. I love to workout. I workout almost everyday. I engage in cardiovascular workouts and strength and flexibility training (Tai Chi and now Pilates).
However as I have written about before, I am a night owl. My focus and productivity are better at night. As a result, I’ve had a tendency to stay up late. Which leads to inadequate rest and what my doctor and many others call “burning the candle at both ends.”
My Facebook friend on the other hand goes to bed at 9:00 pm. She is well rested and she enjoys her morning workout. However, in a way she felt lonely. She was sharing her healthy habits on social media and then she would see my workout picture/post 2 hours later. We both shared a desire to encourage others by sharing our own healthy habits.
She wanted a peer to join her virtually and I wanted a reason to make myself get up earlier. Getting up earlier means that I also have to go to bed earlier.
- It also provides the accountability of announcing this publicly and sharing it every morning with others;
- the accountability of saying “This is my sleep number” (measured by Fitbit),
- and “This is me posting at 6:30 am on Facebook in my workout clothes and shoes ready to exercise” has been very helpful.
I am doing more than talking about my goals. I have created accountability. I have made an agreement. Others will witness; some will support me and encourage me; while others will not notice or ignore my efforts.
The fact is that setting a goal and saying it aloud as well as investing in an accountability process has helped me set a limit on my working and playing hours.
So my question to you is…what are the areas in your life where you need accountability partnership?
- Is it that career you want to craft?
- That niche you want to develop?
- The self-care you want to engage in?
- The boundaries you want to set in your practice?
- The financial goals you want to reach?
- The self-sabotage that creeps in and topples your efforts?
Consultation/Coaching Groups at Development Counts
In October 2016 I am relaunching my coaching/consultation groups for independently licensed mental health professionals and certified coaches.
The groups are a 12 month commitment. We will meet once a month either in person or virtually via video conference. There will be 5 participants per group.
If you are interested in learning more, then contact me.
One of my greatest skills and joys is supporting my peers with sculpting the career/business/and life that supports their highest purpose.
I do that by being a safe, caring, supportive, creative and innovative accountability partner.
I do that by helping colleagues expand their network and leverage the power of group process and development.
I do that by helping you narrow down your focus and knock out that “to do” list. A list that really can’t be accomplished without answering the question…”Who am I being?”
Copyright © 2016 Ruby Blow. All rights reserved.