Writing my blog used to be easy: I wrote about what was on my mind that week. Typically that centered around work. I was inspired by the discussions I had with supervisees or colleagues. The range of topics was always relevant to the subject areas I write about. Other times my blog posts were inspired by my personal experiences, concerns and observations. Still other times my blog posts would focus on the larger society and cultural observations.
Le Struggle is Real
Lately, I’ve struggled with writing my blog because what is present for me has shifted. Last year around this time I was writing weekly and sharing occasionally about my personal challenges with caregiving. I was going through a challenging time and I could write about it because it seemed like that time would pass or get to a new stage of normal. I didn’t want to overwhelm people or worse yet — turn them off from reading my blog.
To Be Honest
Essentially, my style of blogging requires honesty and vulnerability. I was comfortable with being vulnerable before. I was comfortable being relatively open. What’s different now is that I feel the need to protect myself more. I have been public about the fact of being a cancer patient. However, I have been less forthcoming about how this experience has changed my points of view on life. While it has deepened some of my stances and values…like gratitude…it has also impacted the way I live my life drastically.
Introverting is Life
I was always an introvert, who loves people and is comfortable extroverting for brief periods of time. For me, this means that I enjoy lots of time alone. That time alone allows me to renew and re-charge. I also rely upon down time…time spent not working but rather exploring. Learning new things, often creative endeavors that might involve beautifying my home or learning all about skincare.
Keeping it Light
I think the serious nature of the work of therapy, supervision and consultation related to therapy lends itself well to the need for breaks from thinking about anything heavy at all. So in my life, when it all became so heavy…I’ve responded to that heaviness by infusing myself with as much lightness of focus as I can.
Protecting My Energy
I’ve become even more protective of my time and my energy. Most days I wish that I had no other responsibilities outside of getting up when I want, eating my first meal whenever I wanted. Then engaging in some sort of exercise, perhaps some social interaction with a friend…and lots of down time. However, lightness of focus can lead to reduced productivity. What I want more than anything at this time is to continue to do the parts of my work that I enjoy the most, and that also cost me the least amount of energy.
Getting Back to Training
Last week, I did my first large training event since this time last year. It went exceedingly well. The participants gained a lot and the host invited me back. I had fun and at the same time, I was exhausted by the end. I’m not quite ready to hang up my live training hat just yet. However, I am ready to get back to my most natural approach to writing my blog.
Everyone is Going Through Something(s)
I recognize that writing my blog based on what’s on my mind professionally and personally may or may not continue to be relatable for some of my readers. I am hopeful that most of you will find some value. And I know that I am not the only one going through stressful life events and still working as a therapist, educator, supervisor, coach and/or consultant. Just know that I won’t and don’t take offense to any changes in subscribing etc…To read or not read is always up to you. I respect all decisions people make to take care of themselves.
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