On Being a Leader

Being a leader isn’t about being perfect.

Leading isn’t about always saying the right thing. It isn’t even about always being right.

What leadership does require of us is to be fully aligned.

  • Leadership requires authenticity.
  • Leadership requires a capacity to give.
  • It also requires a capacity to receive.

Too many people who are in a leadership role in their life, whether it be…

  • leading students as a teacher in the classroom;
  • leading a family as a parent, spouse/partner, or caregiver;
  • or leading within an organization or one’s profession…

Too many people are out of alignment. They are trying to be okay with things that are not okay and hoping that someone else will address it.

Leadership, of course, requires one to lead.

  • It requires that you step into the fray to see the big picture.
  • It requires you to pay attention to your discomfort and the discomfort of others. Because your discomfort is a signal that something isn’t right.
  • It requires you to speak up and not sweep things under the carpet for the sake of the status quo and the way things have always been.

You must be able to bear the honor and burden of people’s expectations. You must be willing to disappoint people by being yourself rather than their idea about you.

You must be okay that people will be surprised by how human you are and that they will -and should- treat you accordingly.

Leaders should not be placed on pedestals and revered no matter what they do. True leaders must be able to say:

  • I was wrong.
  • I am sorry.
  • Let’s try this again.
  • What were your ideas?
  • Thank you for your input.
  • You are valued.
  • You are necessary.
  •  You did a good job!
  • I see the strengths in you.
  • You’ve got this.

Effective leaders do not withhold their praise and offer up their criticism.

Leaders receive your feedback but their ego and identity aren’t crushed. They see and hear the truth of your experience and address the parts of it they can and are honest about what won’t be feasible.

Leaders don’t seek vengeance. They remember but they also let things go, allowing your relationship to be brand new.

Leaders don’t seek praise. Your victory is yours and they are proud of your accomplishments.

Leaders don’t need you to stand behind them…never advancing to your own trailblazing accomplishments. They don’t take credit for your success.

Leaders know that there is plenty to go around and more than enough for everyone.

Leaders are just as vulnerable as they are strong because they know vulnerability is strength.

Leaders share their story. They don’t keep the best of what they have to offer to themselves because they fear that someday you won’t need them.

Leadership is the process of working oneself out of a role and supporting the person who comes along behind you.

Leadership requires integrity. It requires giving people a chance to learn on their own but not allowing them to go over a cliff unless it is absolutely the only way for them to find out for themselves.

Everyone must cultivate the leader within. If you are not leading yourself, if almost all aspects of life are just happening to you without you having any consciousness of directing it; then you are not leading.

You must first and foremost lead yourself. No one can entrust themselves to you or others to you if you do not demonstrate leadership of your self.

Don’t tell the world what you will do.

Show us in the essence of your being and presence.

Show us who you really are….not unafraid…be fearful… but also be courageous; be the amazing and brilliant you like no one else can.

Copyright © 2018 Ruby Blow. All rights reserved.

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